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welcome to my blog :)) ♥ || blogs for the sake of blogging || enjoys free writing so say hi to grammatical errors ^-^|| blessed to have an amazing best friend, ENNA CYMBELINE GLANG TATO ♥♥ ♥♥ her much.much ^-^ || and a kickass bartender best friend, LORENZO MIGUEL SALAZAR || "busy" but tries to update|| not a fashionista || free-spirited || ♥ laugh || ♥ having fun || ♥ colors || ♥ NBA || ♥ outdoor activities|| ♥TRIMMOC (Tribung MIndanaw Mountaineering Club) Member|| get a glimpse of my twisted mind through my posts || future chemical engineer || ultimately in love with FOOD || chef in the making || will save lives in the future || ♥ life and ultimately, i want to be FOREVER YOUNG ♥
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♘♔ Rant on CE Subjects

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 9:01 PM

LONG POST AHEAD

just a break from all my happy or normal posts lately. i've been away for quite some time now but i really need to rant this out. since i was in high school, this blog has been a sanctuary where i can vent out and it has kept my sanity in place (if i may say so) I HATE CIVIL ENGINEERING SUBJECTS. no, scratch that, ~~I SUCK AT STATICS~~

ever since i started Statics of Rigid bodies for like two semesters ago, i've been struggling with civil engineering subjects such as Statics of Rigid bodies, Statics of Dynamic Bodies, and now, Statics of Deformable bodies (commonly known to us as Strength of Materials)

my only problem now is that i am on the verge of failing. like really. i've been worried before but i can see some hope somehow but now, i am almost hopeless. i am hoping against hope. i don't want to be delayed by this. i mean, IT.IS.NOT.EVEN.A.MAJOR.SUBJECT. all caps yan para mas ma emphasize.

i really am hopeless, i don't know what to do. i mean, when i study and solve problems from the book (with the aid of solution manual), i feel like i can do it, like i can answer problems but when i take the test i'm like lost. i mean, it feels awful to give your best shot when studying, to pay attention to class, to be determined to learn and study to be determined to pass and yet, again and again, you fail. you know that feeling?

i failed the long test again. i don't know how to vent this all out. i don't know. i want to cry but somehow i can't manage to. this afternoon, after the exam, i know i did bad again (pft! what's new?) but i felt nothing and i'm afraid about feeling nothing. i don't know if i just have a late reaction or i really lost hope and i have accepted the fact that i am failing. but no, i don't want to fail, not now, i can't afford to fail :/

i am still trying to be "happy" or lively as much as i want to but there are just times when i want to give in to the sadness and let it suck my happiness, like a dementor. :/

i am still in struggle with the CE subjects. i don't know what to do already, i think i did everything, reviewed a lot of books, solved numerous problems, became attentive in class, taken down notes, listened to the teacher, solved assignments but none of them helped me.

it will be a great miracle for me to pass. and right now, that's the hope i'm clinging to. the string of miracle :/

i don't know. i'm confused and lost and in despair and i don't know.

i think i just took too many bathroom breaks while blogging this, i lost my train of thoughts

Labels: random, rant

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