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welcome to my blog :)) ♥ || blogs for the sake of blogging || enjoys free writing so say hi to grammatical errors ^-^|| blessed to have an amazing best friend, ENNA CYMBELINE GLANG TATO ♥♥ ♥♥ her much.much ^-^ || and a kickass bartender best friend, LORENZO MIGUEL SALAZAR || "busy" but tries to update|| not a fashionista || free-spirited || ♥ laugh || ♥ having fun || ♥ colors || ♥ NBA || ♥ outdoor activities|| ♥TRIMMOC (Tribung MIndanaw Mountaineering Club) Member|| get a glimpse of my twisted mind through my posts || future chemical engineer || ultimately in love with FOOD || chef in the making || will save lives in the future || ♥ life and ultimately, i want to be FOREVER YOUNG ♥
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TALK.

♘♔ year one

Friday, September 24, 2010 @ 9:59 PM

happy supposedly anniv to me (i've been greeting myself for like, the third time already. LOL)

and.and. just like nenen, i'm losing my drive and i don't know how to get it back. TSK.

grades are slipping, eyebags are getting bigger, body is aching, brain is screaming. ahaiiii...what will happen to me now? TSK.

seriously, since i learned that i could get a higher grade in MATH and CHEMISTRY, i tend to be sad having grades less than 87. which is bad because my grades are normally just in there. or even lower. TSK. how can i get my drive back?

and yeah, as for the layout, forgive me for being too bayot. :D

anyways, tomorrow's pe day and i still haven't got my pe day shirt. LAME.

this is the only time that i forgot to bring my assignment (which was due like weeks ago) in PS and sir pancho collected it. even not believing that i did my assignment. I MEAN, HELLO??! me? not making my assignment? SINCE WHEN? yeah, i'm a slacker and lazy, whatever you call it but i do my assignment, even if i did it 5mins before the time or whatever. bottom line is: I DO MY ASSIGNMENTS

still have hose low grades in chem :(

tried to calculate the thingies in chem lab, and miserably, my values are not precise AGAIN . for like, the nth time :(

then,then, the only pe day shirt i got was the one i ordered for HIM. and that doesn't make me happy.

i'm broke (not really broke, but i'd like to believe that i am)

exams are coming and I'M LOSING MY DRIVE. (as what nen would say)

i got everything wrong in our first period exams. THE HELL WITH ME.

i screw up my life, my school life, my body and everything.

i actually had thoughts of suicide. i want to end my life. really. but i don't know how to. good thing i'm afraid of inflicting pain upon myself. plus, i just thought that i'm a really lucky person. i'm studying at ateneo de davao university, i have really wonderful friends (not to mention intelligent!), i have a very loving family and i don't have any failing grade--yet. so yeah, sayang if i end my life. but gaaaaahhh, i want to be out from this routine or whatever. i want to get my thirst for learning back.:(

as for my birthday, i really had a fun birthday. but something is missing. my family provided me with one of the most amazing birthday celebrations. EVER. my friends provided the best company (which reminds me, nen! when tayo mag celebrate? sama natin si enna ;)). but there's still that something there. there's still that 'but' which holds back all the happiness and satisfaction. maybe it's his presence. and the sadness that my mom (and/or my dad) might be mad at him. :(

and yeah, i particularly loved the skyrider part in eden. it was short though. what is 400 meters back and forth? i want MORE. higher! faster! hahaha...kaluod. XD

as for the anniv, you might be wondering what's the anniv all about? (and i just realized, i reveal more things in my blog than i do in facebook and texting. hahahaha..maybe because only a few people read my blog. and he doesn't know the URL of my blog, so it's safe ;)))

today, at around 6-7 pm was the day that he asked if he could court me. this was the day that made me ride this rollercoaster ride. i don't know if i should be glad that i let him or if i should regret that i did. tsk. hahaha..anyway, he never even lasted a year. he stopped may this year. so that's like, 7 months and idunno what days. haha.
korny noh?

anyway, i'd like to believe that he's out of my life now. that i no longer have ties connected to him--well, until i give to him all the things he gave me (plus a few things i bought him--ea shirt, pe day shirt, a cd (i used for burning) and two mini victoria secrets for his mom and his sister). this was all because he did not go to my birthday even if i gave him money (through western union) to be able to ride a bus and taxi and go here. i dunno. martyr much? tanga much? i don't know. SACRIFICE.

and i promised myself that after crying while calling him last sept.18, i would never ever cry because of him--as much as possible. and so far, i have been successful. di ko lang pla mapadala ang aking mga dapat ipadala (i got his full adress) because tomorrow, they would go to marbel because his mom's uncle died. (which reminds me to send my condolences to them).

and this day, was full of malas. i dunno, because of him? lol. sinisi ba sa iba. immature much. xD

i don't know. i just don't know :)

anyway, i'm kinda addicted to dota. lol. it's not eating up my time. no. mas makain pa ng airport mania ang aking time.

anyway, i have to go. i'm super sleepy. lol. i'm still in uniform at 11.26 am. so yeah, toodles :)

♥,
podoL♥

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