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welcome to my blog :)) ♥ || blogs for the sake of blogging || enjoys free writing so say hi to grammatical errors ^-^|| blessed to have an amazing best friend, ENNA CYMBELINE GLANG TATO ♥♥ ♥♥ her much.much ^-^ || and a kickass bartender best friend, LORENZO MIGUEL SALAZAR || "busy" but tries to update|| not a fashionista || free-spirited || ♥ laugh || ♥ having fun || ♥ colors || ♥ NBA || ♥ outdoor activities|| ♥TRIMMOC (Tribung MIndanaw Mountaineering Club) Member|| get a glimpse of my twisted mind through my posts || future chemical engineer || ultimately in love with FOOD || chef in the making || will save lives in the future || ♥ life and ultimately, i want to be FOREVER YOUNG ♥
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TALK.

♘♔ Feb 21, 08 [10:18 AM, Val. Ed time]

Saturday, February 23, 2008 @ 7:52 PM

know what? i realized that i must not be friends with people who are always shot tempered. i mean, of course, as a human, i have flaws. yeah, my attitude SUCKS. I know if you like, want to tell me about my attitude problems, you can tell me in a PEACEFUL way. you don't have to raise your voice just to remind me that i suck. i mean, i've got nothing when people tell me to change something about my worst attitude. u'm a human and i'm a subject for change. but the manner of approach could make a HUGE difference. i mean, i don't want people to raise their voices when they're talking to me. it makes my temper rise and i am afraid, that if i can't control it, somethings may happen. and i'm not certain about those.
i don't know why nobody in class pierces me like she does. when she raises her voice when talking to me, and tells me what to do, my temper rises to the highest level. She's evil. she's frank, yeah, but sometimes, too much of that offends a lot of people. and a lot are hurt./ i don't hate her NO. but i still feel hurt everytime i hear her voice. call me O.A. or wha, but that's how i feel and nobody would understan.
i wanted to cry. but not in public. i wanted to shout, wreck anything and have a tantrum , but i can't. why am i always making the sacrifices? i mean, like yesterday, my bff and her group went to ___. it doesn't bother me. i mean, i know that i'm not just her friend. so, i let her be with others. what made me disappointed was the fact that i had to sacrifice. i've hot nothing against making sacrifices. it's just that, yesterday's like the time when i have to hang-out with her alone. it's the time for the two of us to bond. i mean, for better friendships, i need that. but her friend pleaded that i will just go with them. it was a bitter decision for me to say yes. goodness, i want to cry right now. i mean, hindi ba pwedeng "ipahiram" nea muna sa akin ang kaibigan niya for just a couple of hours? palagi nea namang kasama sya diba?.
i felt hurt. and i can't even put to words what i feel right now. do i hold a grudge? no, i don't think so, or maybe not. i don't want to speak up. i don't want enemies. i won't cry
i feel bored, lonely, HURT. i'm bleeding inside. but they don't know. i'm sad, depressed, and not an emo. i'm a psychopath. i'm crazy, weird
i hope i can handle this. my heart is beating loudly. or am i just feeling it? i want to die. i am destroyed, broken, my heart is full of scars. my cheeks are a bit aching cause i'm fighting the urge to cry. do you now think different about me? i'm a hypocrite. i can't do what i'm advising to Mariz. i'm dull, colorless, opaque, failure, factory defect, psycho, weird, odd, even, whatever, misundertood, everything nice and bad, sugar , spice, ugly, backstabbled.
i feel like the sources of my strenth, sanity and joy are slowly drifting away from me. one already drifted away. still not far but there's already one person [or maybe more] standing in between us. one is slowly, gradually drifting far and the two will find better people than me. until such time that nobody will remain with me, i'm done

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